How We Came to Be

Welcome. I hope you’ll come in an make yourself comfortable. I will start off by saying, that I’m not a writer by trade or profession. I will not claim to give you any profound words of wisdom or advice. I do hope my words are helpful and comforting. I write to clear my own head. I write to have a record of my thoughts. My life is crazy and loud and demanding and I enjoy having a quiet space to think.

So, what is my profession? I am a mama. I have always wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. My motherhood journey started early. I married my husband when I was barley nineteen years old. At the tender age of twenty, I became a mother. I went from one child to three in just under four years. Three sweet amazing boys by the age of twenty four.

We were a family of five for three years when we realized something was missing. Or more precisely someone was missing. We had taken the choice to have more children out of our hands, out of God’s hands. It’s a decision I regretted for a long time, but what came next was nothing short of God’s plan. We became a foster family. Two children came into our home and hearts and then they left. Then came a baby boy, a fourth boy. His story is long and emotional, and for another time. He came, he left, he came back. He was adopted into our home, he already resided in our hearts. We now had four sons, but still someone was missing.

Then the phone rang. Our precious and long awaited daughter entered our home. She was twenty months old. We became a family of seven. She became ours. And that my friends, is just the beginning.

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7 thoughts on “How We Came to Be

  1. megs875 says:

    Some details of your story sound similar to mine, married at 19, first child at 20, had three children in under two years (twins seems to speed things up) and in 2011 we had our fourth. I however have one boy and 3 GIRLS. My husband and I have felt like someone is missing and have felt like this someone will come from foster to adopt. We start training in a week and let me tell you I AM NERVOUS! I know this is something we are meant to do but I stay awake at night worried. What am I getting my children into? Will their safety be at risk? Will their little hearts break as they say goodbye to what they know as their brother when it’s time for him to go home to his birth parents? Will I be able to handle this? Will I be everything this child needs? Are my parenting skills up to par for this? I am the 2nd child of 7, all of my cousins are quite a bit younger than me, my mom did daycare, I started babysitting at 11, I worked with kids with autism, I have a son that is disabled and twins 16 months younger and even then I doubt my capabilities. Any advice for this journey we are about to set foot on?

    • You sound like you have more experience than we did when we started. I had babysat, but that’s it. I had no clue. We were very lucky that our first three kids didn’t have special needs and they were babies. Pretty easy to care for. I think you need to ask lots of questions in training. Training is a great place for answers, but sometimes, the trainers like to gloss over the nastier aspects of foster care. Find a support group of other foster parents, that’s KEY! Your friends and family may react differently, some supportive, some not, but none of them will completely understand being a foster parent like other foster parents will. My kids have had a good experience with foster care. Sometimes they were frustrated with meetings and things we had to go to, but for the most part, it was just another kid in the family. They shed some tears when the first two left, but bounced back quickly. I think it teaches them such compassion. Remember, you can say no to anyone they call you with if you’re in doubt. We’ve turned down a seven year old girl that was acting out sexually, I knew my house was no place for her. I’ve turned down a sibling set of three boys, knowing there was no way. It hurts to say no, it really does, but you have to think of the children you already have in your home. And prayer. Lots and lots of prayer. I went to therapy for awhile too, just to talk my feelings out, a lot of foster moms do. It’s really helpful. I wish you the best of luck and thanks for your comment!

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