We were snowed in today. Again. Yesterday was 67 and I was able to get out on Main Street with a friend and walk. Today it snowed four inches. I am over winter.
When we started foster care our first placement was such a joy. When he left, we had a baby girl. A sweet little girl who screamed bloody murder whenever I held her. She much preferred my husband. The screaming and her leaving caused me to end up in the ER twice with a “heart attack”. It was anxiety. I’ve been dealing with that issue for three years.
It’s mostly under control. I have learned that I need self care to keep the attacks under control. This winter has been dragging on and on and on. It’s been hard to get out and walk. With Carlee’s appointments, the snow, homeschooling, being a wife and mother, I’ve been running myself into the ground. Last week I decided I had had enough. I started walking/jogging and while I’d never win The Hunger Games or out run a zombie, it’s a start. Taking care of myself is imperative to taking care of my family. My Carlee needs me at my best. Especially since we’ve been spending every night this week waking the middle of the night. I know a lot of special needs moms need ‘me’ time. It’s not selfish. It revives me and makes me a better person for them. We all need to cut ourselves some slack.