The Love of Family

I know this is mainly a blog about Carlee, but I do have four other children :). Our youngest child came to us through the miracle of adoption through foster care. His story is cruel. We have no contact with his birth mother (if you can call her that) or her family. Matthew came to us at 35 days old and there was no doubt he was meant to be ours. When he was about six months old, the investigators in his case found out that the man we thought was his father, was not. We then found out his birth father wanted him. We did a three month transition to his new home. For his privacy and theirs, I won’t talk about what happened, but two weeks after we said goodbye, Matthew came back to us. Thirteen months later his adoption was finalized and he was ours forever. But that doesn’t mean his birth family vanished. The things that happened were not meant to harm Matthew. I know they would still throw down their lives for him. We entered into an open adoption with his birth father. I didn’t know that that relationship would give me the little sister I always wanted. Matthew biological aunt and I have grown very close. We claim each other as sisters. Matthew is the spitting image (what does that phrase even mean) of his Uncle. His aunt and uncles and cousins are getting ready to move across the country. I had them all over to my house last night for a birthday/going away party. As I watched Matthew play and run with his cousins, as I watched my oldest son fall in love with the newborn baby cousin, as I watched Matthew’s aunt and uncle play with him, my heart felt at peace. It’s not easy to maintain contact with birth families, there can be drama and heartache, but I know for Matthew it’s the best option. I saw his family loving him. We are his family, there is no doubt about that. I am his mother, my husband is his daddy and my kids are his siblings. My brother is his uncle and my parents are his Nanu and Grandaddy. But we’re not the only ones. His has people. People who love him, people who look like him. People who gave him his beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair. People who gave him his nose. He shares their blood. It’s hard to share my son, I’m so protective of him and his story, but they make it easy. I know they love him and that is all. There are no expectations, just the love of one little boy. The love of this one little boy has brought two families so close together. This one little boy has given me the little sister that I’ve always dreamed of. This one little boy has brought them a touch of the joy that he brings us all the time. I’m sad they’re leaving. They are doing what’s best for their family and I can’t argue with that. I hate to see them go, but I’m so blessed to have them in our lives. A child can never have to much love and this one little boy is covered in it.

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2 thoughts on “The Love of Family

  1. I love this!!!!! I’m so glad that I can help you feel so comfortable with birth families. I know some don’t give you the sane feeling and its so hurtful to know that somehow I’m related to some of those people. I love you and the family so much and I couldn’t have asked for a better family for matty. He is so happy and healthy with you, johnny and the kids and that means so much. I’m going to miss you but I will never forget you… (how can I we will either be texting, facebooking, blogging, or skypeing)!!!!!

  2. restinginhishands says:

    Thank you so much for posting this. We are in the preadoptive phase of what will be an open adoption and it is hard right now. Hearing positive stories is so helpful.

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