Essential Oils

I’ve dove deep into the world of essential oils. I’ve gone with the company Young Living. There was no major determination over the others. I just seemed to get more support from YL reps than the other companies. So here I am, with an arm full of oils.

I started, mainly, for Carlee. I kept hearing testimonies about the oils affects in kids with autism. Carlee does not officially have autism, she may not at all. You have to be developmentally 12 months before they can test for it. She’s not there yet. Her brain damage caused her delays. However, a lot of her delays mimic autism. So, I started there.

The results have been amazing. I’ve been using a blend of oils. She gets them twice a day on her forehead, upper neck, behind her ears, and on her feet. She seems to enjoy the massaging of her feet the best. She’s been making eye contact for up to thirty seconds. She’s playing with her toys with interest. Picking them up, looking at them, even pushing a few buttons. Her eyes just seem to have more life in them. She seems so much more comfortable in her own space.

She’s been gaining weight previous to the oils. Then one day, she decided she’d had enough of the feeding tube. She pulled it out while playing (with the balloon intact) we couldn’t get it back in. The doctors said to keep it out and see what happens. What happened was my daughter is free of a feeding tube. It isn’t going back in. Her weight gain is steady and she’s up to the 36th percentile, from the less than one percentile. She is thriving.

We’ve been using them as a family too. There’s been improvement in the ADD qualities in some of my children. We’ve used it for colds and coughs and fevers. They’ve been working well for sleeping and stress relief. There’s even a blend called Christmas Spirit that I can’t stop diffusing into the air.

If you’re interested in oils, let me know. I’m not a wealth of information, but I have resources to get answers. I’m not trying to be a salesman, but I cannot say enough great things about these oils.

Forgiveness

It’s been awhile (again). My poor neglected blog. Tonight, I’m thinking about forgiveness. It’s a cornerstone in the faith. Forgive as you have been forgiven. And all the jazz. There is little I don’t forgive. However, that little is growing. I want with all my heart to forgive Matthew’s birth mother, Carlee’s birth mother, and my ex-sister in-law. But, I can’t. They never personally wronged me. They hurt my kids. My nieces. I have no forgiveness in me for them. I hate that. Every time I think I’m getting close, there’s another hurt that makes itself known. There’s another news article my precious son will read one day. There’s another bout of seizures that makes my daughter cry. There’s another saying from my niece, words she shouldn’t have hear. I know forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about letting it go in my own heart. Who cares if they try to make up for their actions, that’s not the point. The point is my own heart. The unforgiveness festering into bitterness. Wondering why they weren’t punished enough. I struggle with it a lot. I’m thankful that Carlee’s birth mother has found a mentor of sorts. Someone who doesn’t harbor the anger that I do. I’m so glad she has her in her life. She needs to see what went wrong and ways to fix it. She needs that motherlyish love. She won’t be getting it from me anytime soon. Matthew’s birth mother is in prison, where hopefully she’ll remain until he’s well into adulthood. But it will be long before adulthood that we’ll have to have a conversation. “Who gave birth to me?” and though he’s been here since he was 35 days old, there is a world of pain waiting. And I hate it. Pain from the woman who gave him life, the life she stole from his sister and brother, the family members that chose not to be in his life though they had the chance, and where he stands in the middle of those feelings. I don’t even know how to begin that conversation. A little at a time based on age, but the hurt it will cause him, even if he chooses to ignore it, to me that’s unforgivable. She’s going to cause my son pain. My sister-in-law allowing the worst thing to happen to a child, happen to my firstborn niece. Her neglect, her abuse, her verbal sewage. I’m furious on my nieces behalf. I don’t forgive her.

But I want to. I know it’s the “right” thing to do. I don’t know how.